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perspective
Feb. 6th, 2009 | 08:21 pm
MySpace is a manipulation of perspective.
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ahahahaaaa, birthday costco pizza
Jan. 18th, 2009 | 04:41 pm
location: mom's bed
mood: 
excited
music: none
- tyler durden
- manoah segawa
- indie ashlee
- christopher santoyo
- autumn bottom breeze
- elizabeth ann CHOTE
- haili hannah
- anthony yancoc
- STEPHY-BOOO
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post script
Jan. 6th, 2009 | 03:33 am
I wish my immature subconscious wouldn't constantly distract me from my life goals.
the end.
the end.
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wishes
Jan. 6th, 2009 | 02:23 am
location: kitchen table
mood: still awake
I hate not being able to help people due to lack of comfort and familiarity.
I hate the feeling of wanting to be there for someone, but not having the necessary relationship to do so.
I wish i could be there for everyone. I wish i was close to everyone.
I wish i had the knowledge of how to help others. How to make them feel better.
I wish i had all the time in the world to spend time with those who feel sad and alone.
I wish i could reassure those who felt hopeless and helpless, that i was there for them.
I wish i could make others feel that there was no need to feel alone.
I wish i could make others happy. If not happier.
I wish i had the strength to listen to all of their heartbreaking stories. I wish i could handle it.
I wish i could give a warm hug to those who needed one.
For those that don't have love i their life, i wish i could reassure them with my own. I wish i'd sincerely mean it.
I wish had time for everyone. I wish my own problems didn't soak up so much of it.
I wish i had the energy to do this everyday, or at least as long as i actually wanted to.
I wish i could react to signs of depression correctly.
I wish that i could make others realize instantly that i could be trusted with their hearts.
I wish i was truly trustworthy.
I wish i was worthy of all the friends i have.
I wish i was worthy of all the love i do have in my life.
Sometimes i wish it i could share it with those didn't have it.
I wish i truly more appreciative of all i've got.
I wish it showed.
I wish i could teach others how to function with their emotions personality and mind.
I wish i could teach others, truly show them, how to get the best of their lives.
Sometimes i wish i didn't have to deal with my own struggles with my emotions, personality, and mind.
I wish i already knew how.
I wish i already knew how to get the best of life.
But i should be careful what i wish for.
I know that someday having the knowledge of how to do all of this, is definitely worth the trip.
Memories are irreplaceable.
I have to consist on reminding myself of that.
The trip is worth it in the end. Everything pays off.
But god how i wish i had the patience to wait for all of this.
I hate the feeling of wanting to be there for someone, but not having the necessary relationship to do so.
I wish i could be there for everyone. I wish i was close to everyone.
I wish i had the knowledge of how to help others. How to make them feel better.
I wish i had all the time in the world to spend time with those who feel sad and alone.
I wish i could reassure those who felt hopeless and helpless, that i was there for them.
I wish i could make others feel that there was no need to feel alone.
I wish i could make others happy. If not happier.
I wish i had the strength to listen to all of their heartbreaking stories. I wish i could handle it.
I wish i could give a warm hug to those who needed one.
For those that don't have love i their life, i wish i could reassure them with my own. I wish i'd sincerely mean it.
I wish had time for everyone. I wish my own problems didn't soak up so much of it.
I wish i had the energy to do this everyday, or at least as long as i actually wanted to.
I wish i could react to signs of depression correctly.
I wish that i could make others realize instantly that i could be trusted with their hearts.
I wish i was truly trustworthy.
I wish i was worthy of all the friends i have.
I wish i was worthy of all the love i do have in my life.
Sometimes i wish it i could share it with those didn't have it.
I wish i truly more appreciative of all i've got.
I wish it showed.
I wish i could teach others how to function with their emotions personality and mind.
I wish i could teach others, truly show them, how to get the best of their lives.
Sometimes i wish i didn't have to deal with my own struggles with my emotions, personality, and mind.
I wish i already knew how.
I wish i already knew how to get the best of life.
But i should be careful what i wish for.
I know that someday having the knowledge of how to do all of this, is definitely worth the trip.
Memories are irreplaceable.
I have to consist on reminding myself of that.
The trip is worth it in the end. Everything pays off.
But god how i wish i had the patience to wait for all of this.
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FML
Dec. 31st, 2008 | 08:53 pm
location: bed
mood: just pissy, ignore me
music: TDWP
The more you fuck up, the better you make him look.
oh-eight.....
summer.... gay
school.... gay
relationships..... gay
geeze, seems i've managed to complete quite a homosexual year...
yayyy;D
can't wait to see tyler and chris this weekend.
the end.
oh-eight.....
summer.... gay
school.... gay
relationships..... gay
geeze, seems i've managed to complete quite a homosexual year...
yayyy;D
can't wait to see tyler and chris this weekend.
the end.
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greetings
Dec. 13th, 2008 | 11:01 am
location: kitchen table
music: aleep in the starlight
I'd like to share a few brief philosophies with everyone.
We must all together and by ourselves become one, like megazord.
We should not find how we are better then anything, but how we are equal and why we accept it.
We are omniscient and omnipresent beings.
We cannot know anything but who we are. However, we can believe everything we are not. Do not seek the truth of what might happen, what happens, or what has happened. Then only truth is in you. Most of us are only using a piece of our mind. Some using many pieces without teaching others how.
We all have this ability to self teach. We must seek ourselves by ourselves. Do not let others tell you who you are.
Time is an illusions because everything starts not at, but within the infinity that is now. Advents along this forever stretching now are impossible to freeze in a timeline. The only timeline is memory.
Time is only here to get people mad about waking up too late. To get people discouraged after they've been going days they've been going without a job. To feed the tall men and woman who try to own us. And to let you know how long -to believe you can live.
Even though we all live forever. Maybe not in this life, but life does not end. Life is energy. Energy leaves a tired something or someone, only to return to an awake one. And to repeat this cycle.
Death is the illusion that all living things must cease at one point or another, to become eternal nothingness. Go to heaven or hell. Or become some kind of ghost among the alive.\
Age is allusion, because the only reason we think we had to wait until we were eighteen to be finished and knowing all the real facts teachers have to share with us, is because it is another influence we soak up against our will. Before we know enough about ourselves to avoid it.
We can go at a much faster and natural paste if we simply instructed to teach ourselves how to figure out things. To believe in ourselves and not feel as though lesser of authorities, such as teachers.
Lesser and greater are illusion. All is equal and worship is not.Do not fill your mind your minds with needs.
Unfortunately, most of us are thrown into school as soon as we learn how to stand and obey those tall men and women with their vague educational teaching shallowness. So you start needing almost immediately.
Everyone watches everything get bigger and bigger, therefore everyone believes this is possible. But does everyone believe thongs can become smaller and smaller forever? They should, because this is the balance of all things equal. Just because we can only see things get smaller and smaller until they are too small for microscope, does not mean they cannot exceed these limits and continue to get smaller and smaller without being perfectly viewed by us.
Understanding infinity applies to everything. We can reach infinite thought.
We can know our brain. And with the power of positive energy, manipulate it's natural abilities.
For once we will know how to completely express feelings that our sound and action never could.
Believe like never before. Let yourself know everything you know you want to do.
Think as only you at all times, and live above the programed thought that reality exists.
Reality is you, nothing else. What you think and see and dream and feel. This is reality.
Therefore it is another distasteful word for everything, such as art. Art is something someone is involved in creating that they think deserves a more respectable perspective then something that is not art. This is wrong, because once again everything is art.
Nothing deserves more respect. All is equal.
This great wall of reality that we surround ourselves with is invisible control. A control everyone is influenced into following and believing in.
We cannot believe on ourselves under all of these forced illusions.
Evolve and let illusion dissolve.
And to people in North America, move to another country. You and your thoughts are not safe and never have been there.
There is no up coming revolution to save everyone from themselves. You must do it.
See, freedom is not about making a gigantic sign that people may or may not agree with in order to gain rights. It's about disconnecting yourself from the concrete and metal someone else has unwillingly built all around you like a comfortable trap that must be escaped from.
On a different note, i saw a new color today. I stared in the sun as it was setting, until it's florescent greens and blues formed. Then i closed my eyes to follow the glare it had left.
My own patch of sun to illuminate the black pitch of my minds insides.
This hard impression of sunlight in my eyes became circular and fell into the position between my eyebrows. It felt dead center of my skull where the pineal gland is.
I let myself fall into this glare, only focusing on it, nothing else. Like a black hole in my head that sucked me in a travel through the entire color spectrum bursting at seizureous speeds out of the edges of my inner sight. To realize that between seeing pink transform gushing into a blackish grey, my visuals flashed before me -a really sparkly white holding the easiness of pink in the deep space of black. An entire new color you could only see in your mind as far as earth goes. Because not enough people in earth believe there are any other colors beside the rainbow's contents. If that was different, these other colors would be available to more people. Without the close of eyes. This new color was almost impossible to comprehend after, but completely familiar and natural during.
I believe this is a form of built up meditative hallucinations, using the closed eyelids as a tool for illuminating my surroundings to only focus on what inside my head.
Have a good day.
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Sophomore
Dec. 12th, 2008 | 11:41 pm
location: kitchen table
mood: pretty good
music: tyty's playlist
Reading is important. It matures your vocabulary, stretching your mind to explain understand and learn more. Reading just allows you to grow.
Like so, i think learning and knowing people is important. I feel like i'm learning so much just witnessing different lifestyles. Understanding perspectives is expanding my understanding of things. Like, everyone everyone has some "shit" going on. That is shit is their life. It what their everyday revolves around, and all we do is judge. Almost an instantaneously we think to ourselves some negative blunt comment on others clothing friends or lifestyle. And it sucks. Like that one quote, everyone's fighting their own war.
Also, i think rather then all going at it alone, we could help one another so much. We're each learning something different, like we're each learning a different piece of very odd puzzle. Right now, someone is learning about moving on, letting go, holding on, staying strong, dedication, appreciation, depression, identity, independence, love, hate, morals. Everyone...... fuck i don't know, there's just so much.
Lately there've been plenty of times where i wish my my mind was bigger -wider. Or i don't know, i just wish there was more room. Like, i wish i had four different minds at a time. Of the same person, but processing four different brains at a time. Because there's so much. Like i wish my mind had ten different dimensions. Sometimes i wonder about when i'll be old and be like fuck-this-i-lived-my-life-it-was-cool-bu
It's hard to picture myself ever getting there.
Even old and longlived, i still feel like there still an infinite more things i could learn. If not new things to learn, then an infinite things i could excel on. And after my 2,000th birthday, after i really have learned about everything and have excelled in all -i can then teach it. I could share my knowledge about this shit with everyone who's struggling. Then they would be advanced by that much, so when they reached my age -they'd be a god. Then the cycle would repeat itself and we would just like a snowball -altogether growing in knowledge. Until we've finally reached the point of euphoria.
But of course we only live for a few couple decades.
We live through childhood, learning right and wrong.
Then teenhood, learning all the wrong things.
Later what we call "adulthood", where we just..... idk, reproduce i guess
Then before we know we're old and "lived our lives".
Then die.
and it fucking sucks!
I know for a fact i don't have the depressing we're-all-gonna-die-anyways or the what-the-fuck-am-i-doing-here mentality. I think i'm beginning to grow into the quite opposite mind. I know i'm here to learn. And later to help those who are learning. Yeah.
That's why i'm here.
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playground
Dec. 7th, 2008 | 01:19 pm
i know that you're right here, but you're so far away
and it seems that now, you don't even talk to me
you just disregard the fact i'm next to you
so in return, i guess that's what i'll do
you make my heart bleed fast, when our faces are close
i go in for the kiss, and you pretend it's a joke
and even i like you, i can't look us or even try to
try to, even try to
like that time on the playground, you said it was over
while your ignorance just brought me closer....
so if you want me again, i won't want you back
i don't need your touch, hope you'll know how to react
and if don't i'm sorry, and if you do good for you
i plan on moving without all of you "i don't want to's"
you know it's simple and true, you served me lie after lie
so i'm sorry hun but, this heart is occupied
with someone elses eyes, on someone elses eyes
on someone elses eyes
on someone elses eyes
like that time on the playground, you said it was over
while your ignorance just brought me closer....
boom clap
boom clap
boom clap
boom clap
boom clap boom clap boom clap.......
and it seems that now, you don't even talk to me
you just disregard the fact i'm next to you
so in return, i guess that's what i'll do
you make my heart bleed fast, when our faces are close
i go in for the kiss, and you pretend it's a joke
and even i like you, i can't look us or even try to
try to, even try to
like that time on the playground, you said it was over
while your ignorance just brought me closer....
so if you want me again, i won't want you back
i don't need your touch, hope you'll know how to react
and if don't i'm sorry, and if you do good for you
i plan on moving without all of you "i don't want to's"
you know it's simple and true, you served me lie after lie
so i'm sorry hun but, this heart is occupied
with someone elses eyes, on someone elses eyes
on someone elses eyes
on someone elses eyes
like that time on the playground, you said it was over
while your ignorance just brought me closer....
boom clap
boom clap
boom clap
boom clap
boom clap boom clap boom clap.......
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It's been a while but...
Nov. 29th, 2008 | 08:33 pm
location: bed
mood: 
blank
music: smile with my teeh again
i still plan to update this for my own self-benefit.
So october 26 of 2008 i returned from my encounter. Unfortunately not as "changed" or "new" as i had so desperately hoped for. Again this mishap is for my lack of effort and my excessive hopelessness. The first day, Friday, i was truly convinced that there was a change of effective change. I broke down and cried to him. I cried my heart and soul out. It was beautiful. I felt... i for once actually felt wonderful. Saturday i was up and about, totally stoked. Looking forward to more change. I received some, but not enough to stay.
Later i as kept with my attempt in believing, i was challenged with something beyond what my coward self could overcome. The next stage was be ridding of negative spirits. They presented us all of the twelve different spirits on the screen one at a time. And as we decided which spirit seemed to suit in us, we were to voluntarily approach the guides and have them pray with us. I assumed i could do that, so i was ready for the next step towards change. Though, of course i waited to witness the actual process...
It was too much for my young mind to handle. It dreadful. When you prayed with your guide you were to yell -no scream GO!! I had previously attempted, but i was one of the first few to volunteer. So not only a couple five girls were yelling 'go'. I'm not sure of them, but i felt quite silly. But i figured that spirit hadn't suited me well enough (the spirit symbolizing sickness, i thought i felt a cold coming on... lol), so i'd try the next one. But then the dreadful part came.
More and more girls started to go up. The spirits got more and more serious, so the girls became more heart-felt about it. And it was horrid. It was an actual hell scene. Girls i had come to admire well screaming and sobbing. Many were even throwing up or fainting. It was horrible..... i couldn't take it, i just couldn't handle it
They began presenting spirits that seemed to be suited just for me. It was like all of my problems, all of my hurt, pain, confusion, frustration, hate, and fear: all of it. It was like they staring at me straight in the eye when the next couple spirits were presented. They were mocking me. It really was hell.
Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe i was just a coward.
I'll never want to know.
I couldn't face my fears. Even though i knew they would cost me my forever-wanted happiness.
I couldn't. I can't. I won't.
I'm still afraid, but i won't go out of my way to do anything about it
But whatever. So throughout this hell-like kayos, i find a gap behind the pushed away chairs. I rolled up in my ball, covered my ears, and closed my eyes. Drifting away in this situation was truly a great challenge. But no greater then the reality going on. So i disappeared.
Throughout the rest of the encounter, i had found myself to be incredibly emotionless. Impossibly. Things that would have normally gotten me to infinite tears, caused me no more then a fake sigh. I felt nothing. This time, it was in a very bad way. I felt like i was just watching myself throw away a perfectly good opportunity to change for the better. But.. i didn't care. And i hated, because i knew that later when it didn't matter -EVERYTHING WOULD RETURN. I WOULD CARE, when it no longer mattered.
I am endlessly self destructive.
So of course i returned... not with change. But i made memories.
Oh, but this experience had reminded me that i'm not alone. I just choose to ignore.
atm.
I break my own heart in half, when i convince myself i'm sad
and nobody in sahnems, they can take away my thoughts of that
stay up every night til 5:30 and go to sleep
only to toss turn and twitch, and have dreams about being happy
and i wake up at three, no recollection in my memory
except the ones where i'd held a heart oh heavily
with a pride inside, from my unringed bride
who held her heart, brought along
until she realized i weren't alive
and now it's easy for me to categorize myself
i so sure sure of me, for eternity, i'll always be unhelped
and i've gotten to the point i don't accept it anymore
i just hope it'll change for the bettering of before
it's not yours for the last time, the last straw is my spine
they'd built bones in an organ throne, but the skin was unfined
i'm content, i'll pretend i'm my own best friend
till sad reaches the end; i won't smile with my teeth again
waiting waiting for summer, sumorrow
cause winter halts my good dreams
i know there will be another better time to,
let the sun follow me...
happiness around the corner, haround
vertical walls hiding our faces, but when we meet
in the chezen of sex, sorry been insymmetric
giving me a reason to smile with my teeth
sun lights up your skin in the contrast of yellow dresses vs concrete
want you and me to begin, i hope it's chill
if i'm too sweet, we can go to the beach
even though i hate it
it's whatever, it's a feed out relation
play a few of my creations, let you the artist can't work without your type of inspiration
at my side, in my head the loves around
creating it's limitless, cause love has no bounds
so profound, your existence
i wouldn't want to live, if i couldn't live with it
smile like a half buddhist, is this the kiss sequence?
cause i'd believe it
i've got such a sad room but such an amazing feeling
when i know that it's you i'll be seeing after i leave it
waiting waiting for summer, sumorrow
cause winter halts my good dreams
i know there will be another better time to,
let the sun follow me...
happiness around the corner, haround
vertical walls hiding our faces, but when we meet
in the chezen of sex, sorry been insymmetric
giving me a reason to smile with my teeth
waiting waiting for summer, sumorrow
cause winter halts my good dreams
i know there will be another better time to,
let the sun follow me...
happiness around the corner, haround
vertical walls hiding our faces, but when we meet
in the chezen of sex, sorry been insymmetric
giving me a reason to smile with my teeth
So october 26 of 2008 i returned from my encounter. Unfortunately not as "changed" or "new" as i had so desperately hoped for. Again this mishap is for my lack of effort and my excessive hopelessness. The first day, Friday, i was truly convinced that there was a change of effective change. I broke down and cried to him. I cried my heart and soul out. It was beautiful. I felt... i for once actually felt wonderful. Saturday i was up and about, totally stoked. Looking forward to more change. I received some, but not enough to stay.
Later i as kept with my attempt in believing, i was challenged with something beyond what my coward self could overcome. The next stage was be ridding of negative spirits. They presented us all of the twelve different spirits on the screen one at a time. And as we decided which spirit seemed to suit in us, we were to voluntarily approach the guides and have them pray with us. I assumed i could do that, so i was ready for the next step towards change. Though, of course i waited to witness the actual process...
It was too much for my young mind to handle. It dreadful. When you prayed with your guide you were to yell -no scream GO!! I had previously attempted, but i was one of the first few to volunteer. So not only a couple five girls were yelling 'go'. I'm not sure of them, but i felt quite silly. But i figured that spirit hadn't suited me well enough (the spirit symbolizing sickness, i thought i felt a cold coming on... lol), so i'd try the next one. But then the dreadful part came.
More and more girls started to go up. The spirits got more and more serious, so the girls became more heart-felt about it. And it was horrid. It was an actual hell scene. Girls i had come to admire well screaming and sobbing. Many were even throwing up or fainting. It was horrible..... i couldn't take it, i just couldn't handle it
They began presenting spirits that seemed to be suited just for me. It was like all of my problems, all of my hurt, pain, confusion, frustration, hate, and fear: all of it. It was like they staring at me straight in the eye when the next couple spirits were presented. They were mocking me. It really was hell.
Or maybe it wasn't. Maybe i was just a coward.
I'll never want to know.
I couldn't face my fears. Even though i knew they would cost me my forever-wanted happiness.
I couldn't. I can't. I won't.
I'm still afraid, but i won't go out of my way to do anything about it
But whatever. So throughout this hell-like kayos, i find a gap behind the pushed away chairs. I rolled up in my ball, covered my ears, and closed my eyes. Drifting away in this situation was truly a great challenge. But no greater then the reality going on. So i disappeared.
Throughout the rest of the encounter, i had found myself to be incredibly emotionless. Impossibly. Things that would have normally gotten me to infinite tears, caused me no more then a fake sigh. I felt nothing. This time, it was in a very bad way. I felt like i was just watching myself throw away a perfectly good opportunity to change for the better. But.. i didn't care. And i hated, because i knew that later when it didn't matter -EVERYTHING WOULD RETURN. I WOULD CARE, when it no longer mattered.
I am endlessly self destructive.
So of course i returned... not with change. But i made memories.
Oh, but this experience had reminded me that i'm not alone. I just choose to ignore.
atm.
I break my own heart in half, when i convince myself i'm sad
and nobody in sahnems, they can take away my thoughts of that
stay up every night til 5:30 and go to sleep
only to toss turn and twitch, and have dreams about being happy
and i wake up at three, no recollection in my memory
except the ones where i'd held a heart oh heavily
with a pride inside, from my unringed bride
who held her heart, brought along
until she realized i weren't alive
and now it's easy for me to categorize myself
i so sure sure of me, for eternity, i'll always be unhelped
and i've gotten to the point i don't accept it anymore
i just hope it'll change for the bettering of before
it's not yours for the last time, the last straw is my spine
they'd built bones in an organ throne, but the skin was unfined
i'm content, i'll pretend i'm my own best friend
till sad reaches the end; i won't smile with my teeth again
waiting waiting for summer, sumorrow
cause winter halts my good dreams
i know there will be another better time to,
let the sun follow me...
happiness around the corner, haround
vertical walls hiding our faces, but when we meet
in the chezen of sex, sorry been insymmetric
giving me a reason to smile with my teeth
sun lights up your skin in the contrast of yellow dresses vs concrete
want you and me to begin, i hope it's chill
if i'm too sweet, we can go to the beach
even though i hate it
it's whatever, it's a feed out relation
play a few of my creations, let you the artist can't work without your type of inspiration
at my side, in my head the loves around
creating it's limitless, cause love has no bounds
so profound, your existence
i wouldn't want to live, if i couldn't live with it
smile like a half buddhist, is this the kiss sequence?
cause i'd believe it
i've got such a sad room but such an amazing feeling
when i know that it's you i'll be seeing after i leave it
waiting waiting for summer, sumorrow
cause winter halts my good dreams
i know there will be another better time to,
let the sun follow me...
happiness around the corner, haround
vertical walls hiding our faces, but when we meet
in the chezen of sex, sorry been insymmetric
giving me a reason to smile with my teeth
waiting waiting for summer, sumorrow
cause winter halts my good dreams
i know there will be another better time to,
let the sun follow me...
happiness around the corner, haround
vertical walls hiding our faces, but when we meet
in the chezen of sex, sorry been insymmetric
giving me a reason to smile with my teeth
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The God, the Son, and the Holy Spirit
Oct. 24th, 2008 | 06:59 am
location: my couch
mood: okay
As an adolescent, i'm currently in the process of learning how my mind works and understanding it's functions. Lately i've noticed i have a small silent, but very effective, voice waayyy in the back of my head. I'd like to think that voice is my reality check, but it's too pessimistic. Sometimes that voice can quite depressing and brings me really far down, other times i find it keeps me cautious but very safe and above certain problems it allows me to oversee. But, like i said, this voice has gotten far to pessimistic and it's now interfering with my lifestyle and mentality.
Also, this is not actually a voice i hear like "hey cynthia, this is going to happen..." It's more like a part of my brain with personality. A part of my mind that's is highlighted to me. It's the thoughts it gives me in which i choose to call "a voice".
But anyways, i do believe it's useful -but my mind has warped it to become too unnecessarily negative. Thus fogging my sight of things. Also taking away my daydreams. In a way this voice has become the needle of balloons, lol. Basically it's a pooper.
So now i am going to try to overcome it. It does bring me good but i'm unable to handle the bad. I haven't matured enough to receive reality checks. I'm a young and i shouldn't have to! Not yet. I understand that one day i will have to live in the reality, but not yet. Right now i still feel i am too unprepared. I do live in the clouds, but my clouds always fade with this in me.
Ultimately what i want to get at is, reality shows god and religion is everything but the truth. "Rubbish", "invalid", "horse shit". But even if it is insanely impossible, people need someone more to look up to. Someone who will always be there. Reality is aware that this very person does not exist. So for our self-benefit -we simply create this image of a prefect person. As part of human nature, we adapt to our human needs. But who cares? In this case, this false image brings positive things to people -so why not? I do believe i lack hope, joy, faith, peace and satisfaction on life, meaning and interest. All which can be found with this image. "God" represents all of the above -and more if we want him to. He brings the surreal to real. He brings your dreams to realities, but only if you allow yourself to believe. But i mean truely truely believe. He's your creation. He can be your hope, your joy, your love, your relief, your escape, your peace, your happiness. He can be anything your mind allows him to be; be cause he is your creation.
God /gɒd/
1. Being, the creator and ruler of the universe.
2. the Supreme Being...
6. (lowercase) an image of a deity; an idol.
de⋅i⋅ty [dee-i-tee]
2. divine character or nature, esp. that of the Supreme Being; divinity.
Also i believe in the law of attraction, therefore i do believe in miracles. I believe our minds carry more strength then we are aware of. What if there is a god? And what if he truly exsist? What if we created him with our minds? What if our minds created other things? What if our minds have more strength then we are aware of?
I believe in the law of attraction, therefore, i believe in miracles. I believe with so much strong feeling and belief (in which religion specifically brings) we are able to make things happen. What i try to recognize is the limitations of that power. I don't question it too much though, the idea is too much for my mind to fully grasp.
But in the meantime, i'd like to attempt religion.
Also, this is not actually a voice i hear like "hey cynthia, this is going to happen..." It's more like a part of my brain with personality. A part of my mind that's is highlighted to me. It's the thoughts it gives me in which i choose to call "a voice".
But anyways, i do believe it's useful -but my mind has warped it to become too unnecessarily negative. Thus fogging my sight of things. Also taking away my daydreams. In a way this voice has become the needle of balloons, lol. Basically it's a pooper.
So now i am going to try to overcome it. It does bring me good but i'm unable to handle the bad. I haven't matured enough to receive reality checks. I'm a young and i shouldn't have to! Not yet. I understand that one day i will have to live in the reality, but not yet. Right now i still feel i am too unprepared. I do live in the clouds, but my clouds always fade with this in me.
Ultimately what i want to get at is, reality shows god and religion is everything but the truth. "Rubbish", "invalid", "horse shit". But even if it is insanely impossible, people need someone more to look up to. Someone who will always be there. Reality is aware that this very person does not exist. So for our self-benefit -we simply create this image of a prefect person. As part of human nature, we adapt to our human needs. But who cares? In this case, this false image brings positive things to people -so why not? I do believe i lack hope, joy, faith, peace and satisfaction on life, meaning and interest. All which can be found with this image. "God" represents all of the above -and more if we want him to. He brings the surreal to real. He brings your dreams to realities, but only if you allow yourself to believe. But i mean truely truely believe. He's your creation. He can be your hope, your joy, your love, your relief, your escape, your peace, your happiness. He can be anything your mind allows him to be; be cause he is your creation.
God /gɒd/
1. Being, the creator and ruler of the universe.
2. the Supreme Being...
6. (lowercase) an image of a deity; an idol.
de⋅i⋅ty [dee-i-tee]
2. divine character or nature, esp. that of the Supreme Being; divinity.
Also i believe in the law of attraction, therefore i do believe in miracles. I believe our minds carry more strength then we are aware of. What if there is a god? And what if he truly exsist? What if we created him with our minds? What if our minds created other things? What if our minds have more strength then we are aware of?
I believe in the law of attraction, therefore, i believe in miracles. I believe with so much strong feeling and belief (in which religion specifically brings) we are able to make things happen. What i try to recognize is the limitations of that power. I don't question it too much though, the idea is too much for my mind to fully grasp.
But in the meantime, i'd like to attempt religion.
